You see, the “Chinese bride cost” consists of several main components. The components may vary in different regions and in different circumstances, but in most cases, it’s about these 4:
- Online dating expenses
- Travel expenses
- Visa fees
- Wedding expenses.
But that’s not all. In traditional societies, it’s usually the groom’s family that is responsible for covering the wedding expenses, but this tradition is slowly fading away in China. There’s another interesting feature about traditional societies—the concept of the “bride price” is often very common in these societies, and China isn’t an exception.
This, however, doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily have to pay for the wedding, and this also doesn’t mean you’ll need to pay that “bride price”. Let’s be more detailed.
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What Is Chinese Bride Price?
The “bride cost” is the total cost of meeting a Chinese woman, marrying her, and bringing her to your country (we’ll cover this later). The “bride price”, in turn, is a totally different concept. The bride price, brideswealth, or “Cǎilǐ”, is the amount of money the groom gives to the bride’s family (typically only parents) before the wedding. It’s a gesture of respect, but what’s more important, it’s a symbolic act that symbolizes the ability of a groom to provide for the family.
But it’s a symbolic act, not a symbolic fee—the amount of money some people pay for a bride in China is equal to hundreds of thousands of US dollars!
Dowry
So, it’s often called dowry, some people call it “dower”, and it feels like we need to sort these things out.
It’s very simple, actually: Dowry is when the bride’s family pays the groom’s family (the concept is almost non-existent in China). Dower is a completely different thing; it’s like financial support from the husband to the wife in the event of the husband’s death, and it has nothing to do with the concept we’re discussing here.
What we’re talking here is neither a dowry nor a dower, it’s a bride price, Cǎilǐ, or zhēngnà. And in some cases, you’ll have to pay a lot.
First of all, it depends on the values of the family you’re going to marry into. Chinese society is changing; it’s not as traditional as it was 20 years ago, and a lot of old traditions are fading away, including this one. Modern, educated people who live in urban areas are much less likely to ask for money when being asked for permission to marry their daughter. Those who live in rural areas, however, have much more traditional views on it.
This rural/urban division is also important when it comes to the amount of money the groom needs to pay.
Going to Marry a Rural Girl? Be Prepared to Pay More
The top province with the highest average bride price in China is Jiangxi—it’s a rural province known for its production of rice, tea, and fish, and the amount we’re talking about here is 380,000 RMB, which is equal to $52,691! In the most urbanized provinces, such as Beijing and Guangdong, the average bride price is only 30-40,000 RMB ($4,159-$5,546). And what’s more important, they will be much less likely to ask you to pay for the bride in those urbanized areas just because people who live there are more individualist, rational, modern, and much less traditional than those living in rural provinces.
Now, the good news.
Not Every Bride in China Has a High Bride Price
The average “bride price” is not what all grooms have to pay, it’s the average for those couples where bride’s parents asked a groom for money, and not all families in China are like that. It’s very likely that you won’t have to pay the average bride price. Even if you’re going to marry a woman from Jiangxi, it doesn’t mean you’ll have to pay all those tens of thousands of dollars. They also don’t have bids anymore (but yes, it was a thing even in the 20th century). The point is, even in rural, traditional areas, this tradition is slowly disappearing. Even in Jiangxi or Guangxi, you’ll find a lot of brides whose parents won’t try to rip you off.
Quick Recap And More Info For You
- In some cases and in some areas, the bride prices are very high. But it’s not that common. Often, men only pay $100-$500 or purchase some gifts like alcohol, candles, jewelry, or even tea leaves.
- The more urbanized and developed the city is, the more likely you won’t have to pay a lot (or pay at all).
- Sometimes, they may ask for too much, especially if they see a foreigner. There were stories about the bride’s parents who wanted their future American son-in-law to buy them a brand new car and a new house, which is just ridiculous.
Bride price in online dating
There’s no such thing as bride price in online dating, of course. If you only meet online, you won’t have to give anything to your partner’s parents, right?
But if you’re going to have a serious relationship and if you’re going to meet her in person, well, be careful. Often, Chinese people in their 50s and 60s think that all Americans are very rich people, and this might lead to unrealistic expectations and demands from them. That’s why communication is everything: talk with your online girlfriend openly and ask her about her parents’ expectations in advance.
How Much Is Chinese Bride?
So, now, finally, let’s do some math. We’ll calculate all the expenses here, from buying credits on a dating site to the fiancé(e) visa fees!
Online Dating
Dating apps are usually paid for today. If you see a free dating app, it is not recommended to waste your time on it—100% of free dating platforms have thousands of fakes and scammers. Even reputable sites cannot boast 100% security, but still, the moderators who get a decent salary try to limit the number of fake profiles and have zero tolerance for scams.
So, what you need is a paid and trustworthy dating website like SakuraDate. They all have a credit-based system today, and SakuraDate isn’t an exception. It’s trusted, popular, and it’s pretty affordable, so let’s use it as an example.
- The largest credit package on this site costs $200 (1,000 credits)
- 1 credit costs $0.2
- 1 minute of live chat costs 2 credits or 40 cents
- On average, men spend around 15 minutes per day chatting, which means 30 credits or $6 per day ($180/month)
- You’ll also want to send and receive a few pictures ($2/picture), so let’s make it $200/month
Travel expenses
You will also need to spend at least 2 weeks in China. Let’s say you’re going to visit your bride in Shanghai, one of the top mail order bride cities in the country. How much will you pay for a 2-week trip?
- Flight — $1,000 (from JFK to PVG, round-trip)
- Hotel room — let’s say you’ll need around $70 per night or $1,000 for 2 weeks
- Most mid-range hotels cost $70-$100 per night in this city.
- Food — around $20 per day, $300 for 2 weeks
- Transportation — $300 (taxi, trains)
- Dates — around $100 for a nice date in a restaurant, $10 for a coffee date. Let’s say you’ll have 7 fancy ones and 7 casual ones, let’s make it $800.
- Gifts for her parents (optional, yet recommended) — $200
- Total — $3,600
Dowry, wedding, visa
As for the bride price, you now know that it’s not necessarily that you’ll have to pay it. But, well, let’s say it’s going to be $500 for you: even if you won’t have to pay for it, you can spend this money to buy her parents cool presents.
The wedding cost may vary from $3,000 to $60,000, but you should expect it to be at least $200 per table. So with 50 guests, you’ll pay $10,000. If you’re going to get married in the US, $10,000 would be enough to have a perfect wedding party with 40-50 people, too.
The K-1 visa costs only $940, but it’s not that simple. The point is, after getting the visa, your bride will enter the US, you’ll marry her, and then, she’ll apply for the green card—this process is called Adjustment of Status, and the Adjustment of Status form (I-485) costs an extra $1,440. You’ll also need to pay for a medical examination, so let’s make it $2,600.
READ ALSO: Asian Mail Order Brides Cost: Everything You Need To Know
Conclusion
Yes, it’s definitely not that cheap. Marrying a Chinese woman and bringing her to the US might cost you around $18,000, and we didn’t even include that “bride price” there.
But the good news is that you can save money easily. How?
- Choose the low season. Shanghai hotel rates, for example, drop by 30-40% during the so-called budget-friendly season (November to March).
- Do not book the flight too early—often, the flights are more expensive if you book them 11-12 months in advance than 3-4 months in advance.
- Focus on urban areas. Younger generations of Chinese people who live in big cities are more likely to split the wedding costs equally and to ignore the bride price tradition.
And please, remember that it’s not only about money. Even that bride price concept is not actually about money for most Chinese families today—the parents often return the bride price to the couple after the wedding! It’s more about showing that you respect their traditions and that you can provide for the family.
